Things I do to make my dad laugh This blog is alllllll about grinding on your dad to Rhianna's pop hit "naughty girl"

So I can join a bikey gang and sell crack

I was walking to my car from hot damn on Oxford street after having watched Shai Hulud and I Exist play. I had parked down one of the side streets which was a down hill walk from the venue.
A lot of the houses on the street had been shop fronts at one point in time and as such didn’t afford the current owners the privacy offered by a regular house. As I strolled down the street I looked vaguely into the old shop fronts. As I walked down a set of steps I caught a glimpse into a small rectangular window above a door way, I continued down the stairs before stopping on the last step, pondering what I had just seen and reversing back up the stairs to have a double take. As I paused on the top step I looked once more into the house, through the top window I could see a doorway, through the doorway was the lounge room of the house. In the lounge room were two middle aged gentlemen. It was like nothing I had ever seen before in my entire life, no low budget R rated film I had ever seen could compare to the tenacity and vigor in which these two men were 69ing. They were face fucking each other like it was splendid punishment. They were going hammer and tongs on each other as there dicks were drilling to china. The guy on the bottom had his legs spread wide and was thrusting skyward so hard I thought his cock was going to burst through the back of the top guys skull, thrusting as if it was his sole purpose In life to do so. At the same time he had his hands on the top guys ass cheeks and had them spread as wide as possible using this middle finger to diddle the top guys asshole whilst violently pushing and pulling the top guys pelvis up and down into to his own overly receptive throat. The top guy was holding on to the under side of the bottom guys bent legs and was giving and receiving as eagerly and infallibly as the bloke below.
Whilst I had only been at the window for a few seconds the bottom guy,
As if sensing my presence, looked sidewards and up at me through the glass pane above the door. In one swift movement he pushed the above man up, off and out of him and got up.
At this point I shat myself, my fight or flight response kicked in and I took off down the street towards my car. In retrospect it wasn’t out of fear that I ran, it just seemed the logical thing at the time. As I stopped and skidded past my car on the wet road and fumbled with my keys I looked up at the now open doorway. The man stood at his now open doorway, one arm holding the door open, the other firmly cupping his balls leaving his thoroughly erect trouser snake staring malevolently at me. As I opened to my car door and stumbled in he threw his head back and screamed “QUEER HATER” at me as I sped off into the night.

And when says “I don’t know” tell him “my face”

Is my old man’s birthday. He asked me to buy him a lamb from oxfam for some people not as fortunate as you and me. Usually I go out of my way to annoy and frustrate my father for your (and his {and especially my}) enjoyment but today I just want to appreciate someone who is generally a top bloke and extremely important to me. So here’s to my Dad because he’s a good cunt. Go and tell your father he means the world to you, it’ll make his day.